Am I Good Enough?

I recently got a question on my Facebook page from a woman who asked, how does one trying to promote their gifts, get past the thoughts of … Am I good enough? Why would I think people will care? Or that’s not enough of a gift to share.

I loved the question … Am i good enough? Chances are you have probably asked yourself that same question a time or two or two hundred times? I have and it’s normal.

Am I good enough?

Hell … am I enough?

A lot of times people don’t even ASK the question. They already have the answer. They tell themselves, I’m not good enough … or I’m not enough.

If you’ve had those thoughts, news flash, you’re normal! There’s nothing wrong with you. More people. than care to admit, have that same exact thought. Maybe not the same exact circumstances surrounding that thought but it’s still the same thought.

And that thought is a lie.

I’m not good enough.

Or

I not enough is a LIE!!!!! A big old, fat, smelly LIE!!!!!

Yeah it may feel TRUE to you … that’s just because you’ve practice that thought over and over. Thoughts we practice over and over become beliefs. You’ve practice it, it’s become a belief and now you think it’s true … but it’s just a lie.

Your brain likes to tell you that lie because it thinks it will keep you safe.

If you think you’re not good enough or even enough … then you’re going to stay small and not risk what little you have. You play it safe and your brain likes safety.

Safety is what has allowed us to survive as a species. Your brain is hardwired for survival. So anything that feels risky or dangerous your brain starts freaking out like you’re going to die.

Have you experienced that? Right before you step on a stage or stand up to speak, ask a person out or your boss for a raise … your heart starts to pound, hands begin to sweat, mind starts racing, adrenaline floods your body and you feel like you're gonna die. That’s normal. It’s how the brain and the body kept the cavemen alive. You had to ‘fit in’ to survive. You had to be liked in the tribe to stay alive. Being in the tribe meant you lived. If you got kicked out of the tribe you died.
And while that was true and served humans back then, our brains today haven’t evolved to recognize judgement, ridicule and rejection isn’t going to kill us.

Why do you want to be liked, fit in, people please? Because it means you get to stay in the tribe … which means you live.

The reason rejection and being left out is so painful is because that used to mean you would die. While that’s not the case today … it sure feels that way.

That’s what’s going on.

So are you good enough? At least we’re asking the questions instead of making that a statement. And I want to ask another question… What’s ‘enough?’

Am i good enough? Well define … enough! And who gets to determine what’s enough?

You do! So if it’s enough for you … then guess what. It’s enough.

The woman who asked this fantastic question of ‘Am I good enough’ on my facebook page also asked … Why would I think people will care about my gift?

First of all, I love that she called it her ‘gift!’ That shows ownership and passion. But the question of why would people care about my gift? Fair question. It’s a reasonable question. But you know what else is a fair and reasonable question?

Why wouldn’t people care about my gift?

Both possibilities are available to you … which one feels better? Which one moves you to take action? Which one gets you closer to the result you want in your life? Go with that one. See where that one takes you.

What holds so many of us back is this fear of ‘what people will think.’ What is everyone gonna think?

Who is this everyone you speak of? Who are ‘the people?’ Who is everyone and people? Get specific WHO - ARE - THEY? Who makes up the audience that you’re giving all this power to? Is it old friends from high school? An ex? Former co-workers? Is that who’s holding you back? Who are these people? If you can’t picture them specifically that’s okay. Stay with me here… because so often we get caught up in this spiral of worry about what other people think and those people don’t even have faces. It’s just a vague, general feeling of fear masquerading as everyone. It’s the fear of failure. People don’t even exist. If they do have a face, are these the faces you want determining your future. And if there isn’t a face … then drop that story.

I’m passionate about this topic because I've personally handed power over to people. Worried about what ‘everyone’ is going to think. I’m human.

I went from being one of only a few female talk show hosts in the country to being a life coach. You don’t think people have opinions on that? Sure they do … but those that judge, poo-poo it or make fun of it … aren’t my people. They’re not going to keep me from being who I am and helping people who need my help.

Once I decided to drop that story, and the worry of what other people thought … Once I put down that weight … I became so much lighter. So present, real, available to do the work I truly love and believe in. The work that changes people's lives.

I’ll tell you what …

If you’re identifying with this whole conversation about not feeling good enough… I get it. I can sit here and tell you its normal but maybe you need more than that then click here and schedule a free session with me. I know what it’s like to have that thought become a belief and work hard to change it. I not going to tell you the thought never enters my mind any more. It does. But now I know how to quiet it … and not let it stop me. I can help you with that.

So … Am I good enough? Yeah … because I decide what's enough and if people don’t agree … that’s okay …it’s not like they can kick me out of the tribe. I’ll survive knowing I’m enough.