New Year, New You

It’s the New Year and so many of us are thinking about the new you!!!

Right?

Let’s leave the ‘dumpster fire’ of 2020 behind and embrace this new year and a new you. Many of you will participate in the annual tradition of making a new years resolution. Roughly 60-percent of us make them but only eight percent will stick to them. So, I’m not going to sit here and talk resolutions. I made a resolution years ago to stop making new years resolutions and I’m proudly part of the 8% who have stuck to it. Not going change that streak now baby.

Today I’m going to take a different approach. Instead of explore the ‘new you’ you’re looking to create in the new year, I want you to answer this question first,

Who are you right now?

If you want a ‘new’ you. Who’s the current you? Who are you?

Whoa, we just got deep.

Stick with me.

If I were to ask you … who are you? What would you say? Think about it a sec.

Chances are you’d say something like, I’m a mom or a dad, I’m a wife or a husband, I’m an engineer, accountant, teacher, executive. You’d identify with a label. A role you play. That is SUPER common! We perform these roles and internalize them as if they were our real identities. At times it feels like we’re all actors playing all these different roles. I want to point out the sad but unfortunate truth about all those roles. They can all be taken from you. If you got a divorce and lost your job, who would you be?

So I would ask you again … who are you? How would you describe yourself? What do you think of yourself?

You are a whole system of ideas and experiences. Beliefs and values.

But here’s the thing … so many of us don’t even know what we think about ourselves.

The relationship you have with yourself is the most important relationship you’re ever going to have in life. If you don’t even have an opinion of yourself than that’s a pretty neglectful relationship. Yeah?

On the other hand … so many of us have an opinion of ourselves but it’s not a very good one.

What do I mean? Try this …

Imagine being in a relationship with someone who … didn’t love you.

Thought you were worthless.

Was super critical of everything you did. And

Kept telling you, you weren’t good enough.

Now imagine having to be in this relationship for the rest of your life? WHAT???? Yeah, how would THAT feel? It would totally effect how you thought, what you did every day, how you behaved?

Just ask yourself this … would you speak to someone else the way you speak to yourself? Probably not. So don’t talk to yourself that way.

So with this new year … let’s start with a new loving relationship with yourself. Taking care of yourself. Being kind to yourself. Stop beating yourself up. Have your own back!

How do you do that … when that voice in your head starts to criticize you, telling you you’re not god enough … ask yourself … is that true? Is that thought really true? And find an expectation to what it’s saying. If you shared that thought in your head with your best friend, how would they tell you your wrong and what would they tell you instead?

I’m a mom and that inner critic can come out guns a blazing with the mommy guilty. If I were to tell my best friend I totally feel like I suck as a mom she would say you don’t suck! You’re one of the best mom’s I know. You’re so engaged in this … you do that … you love so big and … yada yada yada. You get the point.

Try it! That’s an easy way to start getting some new thoughts and perspectives into your head.

And you know what else you can do, look for the small victories. So many of us don’t give ourselves enough credit. We just do things because we think we should without recognizing the wins we have along the way. So I recommend every morning, with your cup of coffee, or in the evening as your winding down for bed… grab a little notebook and write down 3 small victories you’ve had for the day. Start with three and build to five. I do this EVERY day and it has been a GAME CHANGER!!!! It boosts my confidence, gives me a sense of accomplishment and a recognition of my achievement. It feels good to give myself internal validation instead of looking out side of myself for it. And here’s the other really cool thing. The more I look for small victories… the more I find small victories. Yeah, my brain is now looking for them and it feels sooo good!!!!

I believe you find what you’re looking for in life.

If you’re looking for the good … you’ll find the good.