Self Care

Today we are talking about self care. And ya know what? Sometimes self care looks like pizza. Yes, pizza! We often look at self care as bubble baths, meditation or taking a walk, all of which work and are great ideas but this week self care for me looked like pizza. I’ll tell you that story and the inspiration for this blog post in just a moment. But first … let’s define self care. Oxford Language defines it as

The practice of taking an active role in protecting one's own well-being and happiness, in particular during periods of stress.

In layman's terms, self care is taking care of your own needs. So often we focus on what everyone around us needs that we drive ourselves into the ground and sacrifice what we need. If you’re not going to give yourself what you need and take care of yourself why would you expect anyone else to do that. You teach people how to treat you. So, if you treat yourself like crap and run yourself into the ground then that’s what people see and will do the same.

We do it to ourselves. And I was doing it to myself this week. My calendar was jammed packed. Yesterday I was a speaker at a virtual seminar in the morning, afterwards I had to shoot a teaching video for my coaching program. I had a podcast drop in the morning so there was a bunch of social promotion I had to do for it.

I coached 2 clients.

Edited the video I shot in the morning.

Throw in a virtual parent teacher conference that I ALMOST forgot, drop off at soccer practice followed by a target run.

Why am I giving you my to do list? Because that night I was ‘supposed’ to make dinner. My daughter had requested brussels sprouts! Brussels sprouts! When your 11 year old actually WANTS to eat brussel sprouts … well … in my head … YOU MAKE THAT HAPPEN. And I could make that happen because I had them in the fridge. I planned to make them but honestly I was just spent. I was tired. I knew if I went home and started making dinner, I’d be a cranky, short, mean mom because I had just given so much of myself to the day and I felt like I HAD to give more but didn’t have anymore to give. Have you ever found yourself there?

Well … that’s where I found myself sitting in the Target parking lot so you know what I did?

I ordered a pizza. The realized that the best possible thing I could do for me AND my family was have someone else make dinner for us. THAT was taking care of myself. I ordered that pizza, went home, hopped in the shower and finally sat down to enjoy a few minutes to myself. I was clean, I was chilling out, I was off the hamster wheel. Soon thereafter my husband came home with our daughter from soccer practice and we sat down and had a slice.

See ... sometimes pizza looks like self care.

I share that story with you because you too may get caught up on that hamster wheel. I think we all do sometimes. We think we have to go, go, go, do, do, do and if we don’t , then … well … I think we all make that mean something different!

For me, that night, I realized I was making it mean I wasn’t a good mom. Seriously, when I boiled it all down, my mind thought NOT making brussel sprouts when my kid wanted brussel sprouts meant I was a bad mom. Stupid right?

When we can boil it down to the thought in our head and actually say it out loud … it helps us move through it. Sure it sounded stupid to me but it also felt so real. All that judgement and criticism we place on ourselves is what drives us to go, go, go, do, do, do, burn the candle at both ends and wonder why we’re burnt out, cranky and at times resentful that never have a moment to sit down. But I’ve grown to realize, “I” do that to myself. That’s not anyone else's fault but my own and I say with the utmost love … YOU do that to yourself and it’s no one’s fault but your own.

Instead of waiting for someone to suggest ordering pizza, just order it on your own. You’re worth it.

So we’ve already defined what self care is. So here are a fews things you can start TODAY to better take care of yourself.

1.) When you wake up in the morning open the blinds. Let the sunshine in. It boosts your vitamin D levels and can help lower cortisol which is the stress hormone. This is super easy and starts your day off on the right foot.

2.) Give yourself enough time to get where you’re going. We tend to stress ourselves out because we wait until the very last minute to leave for an appointment, meetings, school, practice, whatever. That extra 5 minutes can save you a ton of stress.

3.) Take a walk. Get outside and take a walk. It doesn’t have to be a long walk just lace up those sneakers, get outside and move your body. Research has shown getting out of your house or the office and walking for 5-10 minutes can help lower your heart rate and stress levels as well as help you sleep better at night.

4.) Journal. This can look different for different people or even different for the same person throughout the week depending on what they’re experiencing. The very act of getting stuff out of your head and on to paper where you can look at it can give you tremendous relief. I have a lot of clients that keep gratitude journals. I recommend a victory/accomplishment journal. Everyday I write down 5 small victories or accomplishments I had that day. I’m creating a book full of wonderful things I’ve done that i can go back and look at when I’m struggling and I need to be reminded of all the great things i’ve done.

Self care doesn’t have to be big. I see a lot of people looking to vacations or time off or an event coming up that they think will make them feel better.

WHY WAIT? Why wait the day, week or month to start feeling better now? DON’T!!! You can start today.

I realize the suggestions I’m making are small … they’re not earth shattering …

I’m talking about opening blinds

An extra 5 minutes to get where you’re going

Taking a walk for 5 minutes

And jotting down some successes.

Pretty easy …

There isn’t a right or wrong, better or best way to do this. It’s whatever you need to feel relaxed and happier.

I want to wrap up with what self care isn’t …

It is NOT a luxury!!!! It is a priority!

If you see taking care of your family, your career, your friends and loved ones as a priority … then you should see self care as your number one priority. When you take care of yourself, you are often taking care of others.

Which leads to the next thing self care is not …

It is NOT selfish

So often I hear clients say they don’t do things that are good for them because it takes away from their ability to get work done or to be a good parent.

And I ask them … do you think you're better equipped to get work done or be a good parent when you’re well taken care of or when you’re tired and exhausted?

You may have heard the saying, you can’t pour from an empty cup.

Make sure YOU’RE filling your OWN cup everyday. It will allow you to give so much more if you choose.

Lastly, self care is NOT a one size fits all strategy.

Maybe the idea of taking a walk or journaling in the evening sounds horrible to you, than find something else that feels great! Maybe it’s a cup of tea, lighting candles, a hot shower or bath, hanging out with your dog. It doesn’t have to be complicated or what anyone else does. All it should do is refuel, energize and help you.

And sometimes self care just looks like pizza!!